Like this picture he made using a magnetic toy we got for Cy back in November for his birthday.
He spent quite along time on this picture "hat-man" and the only direction I gave was to point to the long rectangle pieces and suggest they could be arms but he was the one that picked the pieces up out of the left hand side tray and put them on (and he chose to flip those two pieces over so the magnetic strip is up). He was getting pretty frustrated with the eyes and mouth as they weren't in exactly the right spot and his fine motor control is still clumsy (he barely has a pincer grip - actually- at best I would call it very weak). (So while I was wildly impressed with his art work I am also feeling guilty that I have never worked on fine motor skills with him). I felt sad when he cried out in frustration because he was trying to get the pieces in just the right relationship to each other and due to his clumsiness one of the other pieces would get moved as he placed the next piece.
At one point I thought he was about to completely lose it as he had knocked the eyes out of position (again) so I did step in to put the eyes back in their places, part of me wishes I hadn't touched his work but the other part (the instinctive part) knows he might have picked up the tray and hurled it at that point, he just needed that tiny bit of (emotional) support and he kept working on the person and then that hat kept growing .........and growing.
When I reflected on it later I thought that, knowing "when to and how to" support my kids and when to "let them be" is the hardest part of parenting for me, I don't want things to be hard for my kids, I don't want them to be frustrated with the detail so that they give up on the bigger picture.
But I know I step in too quickly most of the time, I need to step back and wait and to give them more time and as little help as necessary (at just the right moment) (hey no pressure!!!) but it does make a difference, because Owen was really proud (me too) of his finished "hat man" so when I got the camera out to take some photos, Owen went and picked up the torch he had been playing with earlier and pretended to take photos of "hat man" too (you can see him holding the torch "taking a photo of hat-man" on the bottom edge of the photo)
So this also got me thinking about how important it is to give Owen different kinds of materials because there is no way he could ever draw something like this (like an average child might) especially with his weak fine motor skills. But maybe I can give him things like these magnetic shapes (preformed shapes) like a ?paper plate and ?some stickers or ?leaves and he can stick them on ? I am not a crafty person, it's just not me !
BUT I can see now how important it is - because theres stuff in there, in his head- he just needs to have the right materials to creatively express himself.
Crap this learning curve is steep
me too. it's always a delicate balance with rachel because i know it, i can see it, when she's about to give up and i step in to prevent that from happening. maybe because she doesn't understand when i say "keep trying, don't give up yet"? i do help my son too much. he really doesn't need as much help as i give him but i guess that is the downfall of having a sister with special needs - mama is already preprogrammed.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good post and got me thinking too. I know I totally step in too soon and I need to work on that if my Owen is ever going to gain the independence and problem solving skills he needs.
ReplyDeleteSome ideas about things he could use and are fantastic for fine motor skill practice: glue stick and foam shapes on a paper plate (I have been known to cut out wreathes, birds, fish, grass, etc. shapes on the paper plate and then let Owen glue small foam pieces onto the plate), painting both with hands and a fat brush, play doh--shape it with hands into shapes or use old cookie cutters, felt pieces that you pre-cut into shapes or a person or a scene and then put small velcro pieces on the back so he can move and reposition them any way he wants (and you can put them in a small bag and save for another play time). Here is one of the best sites I've seen for fun, easy, inexpensive preschool craft ideas (busy bags) that you can use over and over again: http://www.walkingbytheway.com/blog/ultimate-guide-preschool-busy-bags/
Have fun!
Love Hat-Man! Great job...I am to quick to help also and now Maddie yells at me or quits when I do over step...I think it is her way of telling me she can do it...and when she needs help she does ask...but I want to "fix" things...I want to make things happen for her...when in reality it is about me and she is just fine with the task at hand...Maddie gets most frustrated when I step in not when she is struggling with a puzzle...or when she is trying to communicate something with me...and I am not listening...this are ting thing is tough! But sweet! Smiles
ReplyDeleteI just love that you are posting again! Yaay! What a great job Owey did of the hat-man :)
ReplyDeleteAnd this is the part of parenting Russell that is hard for me too. When to jump in to prevent frustration, and when to step back and let that frustration push him forward so he can learn it himself. It's a tough one.
And I agree with you on the crafts thing...I am not a "crafty" Mom either, but Russell needs me to do that stuff with him. It's like four kids later and I have to have a entirely different parenting style with him. That's what gets me sometimes. It's hard.
Love that you posted :D
I jump in too quickly too. My hands will hover over anything Lucas does. I have to stop myself. But honestly, I remember my own mother doing this too. It's just the nature of motherhood, I think. The learning curve IS steep, this mom stuff is just plain hard.
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