Day 6

Day 6 and things are getting worse on the nursing strike -now he is refusing the early morning feed - between 3-5am. This is bad because he hasn't worked out how to get himself back to sleep, so we have been awake today since 3am. Col, Owen and I have all had naps I am so thankful its the weekend. This morning I got up and got Owen at 3am and took him back to our bed and on other mornings he has taken a feed at this time. But this morning he just refused to latch on and he grizzled on and off from 3 till 5 when Col couldn't stand it anymore and got up with him.

I have started expressing to maintain some supply though it is looking pretty grim for him starting nursing again. :( I wonder if this is an example of the DS stubborness people refer to?

During the day Owen is being grizzly and demanding too, he is tired and emotionally overwrought (?spelling) and of course teething. It is so hard to listen to him grizzle when I know a feed would solve alot of the problem, it is so hard to lay there awake in the wee hours knowing a feed would quietly settle back to sweet slumber. With my other two boys I have weaned slowly and gently and there hasn't been this emotional turmoil associated with it, but there really is nothing I can do but cuddle him and be patient and hope that whatever happens, whether he completely weans himself or comes back to nursing, it happens quickly.

On Strike

Owen is on a nursing strike !

It started 4 days ago when he bit me (with those pointy sharp teeth) I yelped out in pain and he burst into tears he really got a fright. And from then on he has refused to nurse during the day at all and only once overnight. If I offer during the day he bites me ! I checked his mouth and he is cutting another molar (tooth #13)and I think he might also be getting an incisor as well). After 4 long days (there has been lots of grizzling from Owen and anxiety for me) I am still holding on to the hope that he will take up nursing again, for me it is really significant part of our relationship. And he hardly drinks from his honey bear cup maybe 50 mls a day, not much, not enough in the hot weather we currently have. I have been giving him lots of fruit puree and wet foods to help keep his fluids up.
I have tried nursing him in the bath, nursing when he is drowsy after a sleep, nursing when he is tired and grizzly, he just wont' have a bar of it and I don't want to push it too much, I am just hoping that after these teeth finish moving he will come back into my arms and back to my lap.

thumbs up, thumbs down

From the weekend ...................

Thumbs Down - to the woman at the gardening shop that took my baby's hand to get his attention and when he turned to look at her, dropped his hand like it was a hot potato, Owen bless him started waving like crazy - she turned away. You broke my heart and I burst into tears as soon as I got to the car -at first I will admit I was crying for myself but then I thought - Owen will have to deal with people like that all his life - and then I was crying for my innocent, beautiful baby.

Thumbs Up - to the woman from the local bakery who played peek-a-boo with my baby as he sat in the pram while I selected a tasty treat from the display. When I went to pay for the sweets and I stood blocking her view of Owen and she said "you've interrupted the game", so I moved to the side so that they could continue, Owen's giggles and the young woman's smiles warmed and soothed my heart. And Thumbs Up - to the woman at the checkout who said hi when Owen waved and then played "hi fives" with him and to her husband who said "very cute". There will always be people that can "see" Owen for who HE is, his beauty and his playfulness.

NOTE TO SELF - learn to focus on the positive

Tuesday is music

I have not been in a good place this past week.

I was feeling stressed about Cy starting preschool next year and which days to send him. I initally thought Tuesday Wednesday would be good but that would mean we would have to join a new music class, we currently go on Tuesday mornings and the thought of having to meet new people, a new group made me feel really anxious - and I wondered have I got social anxiety? Because I just can't do it, can't meet more new people. I feel this way I think because I still feel bruised and battered by grief, I don't want to expose myself to any more polite (and not so polite) looks, questions, those "sympathetic", kind smiles. Damm it I am so over it.

So I have decided to send Cy to preschool on other days of the week so we dont' have to move to a new music group. I like the Tuesday morning group we are in, everyone knows us, there are no questions, looks or those kind smiles, just joy, laughter and encouragement. I love taking the boys there.

Got to give myself a break ......

Just the way they planned it

A few days after Cyrus was born I had a very strong feeling that there was another baby waiting to be born, I forgot about that feeling until 8 months later when I found out I was pregnant again. We had tried for 12 months to have Cy, so to get pregnant without even trying and only on my first cycle after Cys birth was like a miracle to us !

When I was pregnant with Owen I told people that this spirit has rushed at us because he needed to be born NOW that he had such a passion and zest for life, he didn't want to miss a moment, I really felt this with every fibre of my being.

Owen also managed to make an early entrance into the world, when my waters broke 6 weeks early (he was 6 pound 10) rushing to be with us. (the doctors later told me that because my uterus was damaged by Cy's C-section it would have ruptured at around 38 weeks both of us could have died).

The extra chromosome had saved our lives. (the 47th chromosome makes the placenta age faster (mine had started to calcify) it hits its used by date earlier and signals to the baby its time to be born, this is not for every DS pregnancy but for many).

Now when I look at these two boys together, Cy and Owen, I see that they are meant to do this journey together. Its sounds crazy but I think this is the way they planned it to be all along, even before they were born and I get to live with extreme cuteness everyday - gotta love that.

Sand Play

I got a surprise today when I went to download some photos of Owen and Cy playing in the sand. I found this photo taken nearly a year ago to the day, when we "offically opened" the sandpit . It reminds me of just how far we have come in a year.

Owen was 7 months old, he often held his head on the side like this (I had forgotten that) it resolved without any intervention.


A year later Owen and Cy now play in the sand together everyday.



He loves the sand, (eats way too much of it), he has also learnt to pat it, dig in it and load the truck. (don't know what is going on with his hair here mmmm might be time for a haircut)

the good and the bad

Took Owey for his first hearing assessment after ear tubes last week.

He did so well and it was obvious to me immediately that he could hear better.

But then the audiologist looked in his ears and couldn't find the ear tube in the right ear all he could see was tiny, hairy ear canals. Then the left ear - fluid - blocking the ear tube. I felt paniced and devestated.

I got outside to Col and lost it, swore and cursed and just fell apart, and Col said lets go see the ENT........ right now ,

We drove up to the ENT's office and gratefully he saw us inbetween patients - He sucked the fluid out of Owen's left ear its greenish eeeuuuuukkkkk. And he took a very gentle look in his right ear and could see the ear tube and its working perfectly, no infection ! YIPEEE

So the plan is - antibiotic drops for a week and then another check up, please pray that the drops work!

and Col I LOVE you